Shark Boy In El Salvador

  Hello humanidad. It's been a gosh dang long time and a lot has happened I don't even know where to start.  Lets begin with pupusas Pupas (pronounced poo-puhs. The correct gangster pronunciación of pupusas according to 4yr old salvadoranian Gael)  I got transferred to a new area called El Congo and I'm now in a house of 4 elders where we all go to lunch together to an amazing member lady's house. So we show up for lunch day 2 of being here and she makes pupusas, but my companion is sick so he's like "thou must eat all of mine food for me" and I didst say unto him "I will do what I must" and then I got carried away in breaking the previous pupusa record of 14 written on the wall by past Elders and I ate 18 pupusas instead. Twas exceedingly glorious. I think I could get 20 next time if I have a less gigantic breakfast beforehand. The Coolest Day Ever Rewind time: to arrive at El Congo I had to leave Suncuan. The ward there was so awesome. My comp ...

  Wazaaaaap  Things are going well here. Transfers came and went and thankfully I get to stay in my area with my companion Elder Adcock, the only difference is now we´re Zone Leaders. Which has honestly been super cool, having more responsibilities and more missionaries to help out definitely gives motivation to try to do better and be better. Aight now onto some STORIES Alan tries to kill us There's a little 4yr old kid in one of the families we ́re teaching named Alan who´s eight thousand percent hyperactive at every hour of every day. The first day we taught his family, while we were teaching the lesson he just stayed busy by picking up the cat, throwing it at the wall, and then chasing it down and doing it again. Another day we came by and he walks up to a dog as tall as he is and just starts kicking it in the crotch and wrestles it to the ground and cusses at it. The best tactic I´ve found to keep him from attacking us in the same way he did the dog is asking hi...

  (forewarning: I wrote this, and then realized it has zero of the nice format I use sometimes and therefore may or may not hurt your eyes to look at, for which I appologize. Idunno what happened to this email but I like it so maybe you will too. Aight shut up and read it) Recap of some of some of the many changes that have been goin on this transfer: - Arrive in new area with new companion Elder Chase - Two weeks with Elder Chase and then emergency cambios so Elder Chase leaves and Elder Adcock comes to the area. - 3 days with Adcock and we move houses - More emergency cambios and a pair of elders in the district leave, and our area doubles in size. - Some random dude chucked a brick at another dude in the street. But uh, it was at his chest instead of his face and then he ran away so I think everybody is fine. - 3 intercambios with the ZLs - We left the door to our house open for 2 freakin seconds and then a cat came in and stole a loaf of bread and started devouring it on our po...

Painting with the bois  Last time I saw Kelvin before I left El Trebol Epic clouds and plants My attempt to make peace with Loki after him trying to kill me every day for 3 months New comp Elder Chase w/ the legendary Victor Luna and his family Delishy fishy    Hola, it´s been a month since I last sent an email so there´s a lot of stories but for a short recap, Elder Smith and I finished up our last transfer together in El Trebol with much walking yet much awesomeness and success. We were together for 3 months in total, and a week ago I was transferred to the area Suncuan, in the city of Ahuachapan, where I am now with Elder Chase. Alright on to the stories: NO KIKI NO Theres a really nice drunk dude who lives near us who always yells at us in his lil high pitched voice HOLA HERMANOS every time we go by. His name is Kiki and he´s the best. The other day we were walkin down the street and Kiki is next to a police car rubbing his hands all over the roof and hood and windows...

Hola familia y amigos Life is good. Spanish is slowly gettin better. The gospel of Jesus Christ is freaking powerful and continues to change people's lives.  Heres some stories from the last little while: Dinasour child We've been visiting the Familia Flores and they're awesome. The dad is a hugely massively ripped tattooed salvadorian man, and he passed some of his jackedness to his little 4-year-old son who is kind of a wild animal. His fist bumps are actually him trying to punch you. He's the kind of kid that anytime he has to traverse any stretch of house, he will full on sprint until his tiny legs cant keep up and he just trips and faceplants on the ground. While talking with the dad during one of these visits I just see this kid stomp out from his room on all fours, with his rear in the air and head towards the ground, carrying his triceratops toy in one hand. I watched in awe as this child confidently approached his bowl of cookies sitting in the mid...

  Here beith mine stories from the past while: Mowed the lawn with Machetes Our homie came up to us one day and was like  "Hey I have some grass to cut, I don't want to pay anyone, and I want to see two gringos working for a latino. You guys got machetes? " So we borrowed two machetes from the Patriarch and mowed his lawn. Helped an 87 year old man dig a hole We just saw this dude fixing his gate, so we went and helped him dig a fencepost. After a few minutes of watching this shirtless old man happily stabbing the dirt with us my companion was like ¨how old are you?¨and turns out he was 87. People, we have no excuses. If this Salvadoranian can do it you can be a ripped 87yr old still out digging holes too. Teaching history to a history teacher We started teaching a guy who´s a college professor of ancient latin american history. This is ironically awesome because The Book of Mormon is literally a record of the ancient inhabitants of the Americas and their prophets and nat...

  Wazzap. Normally on pday I feel super low on time and like I have too much to write and I just speed through it, but today I just feel chill. Kinda don´t know what to write about. So here I am just rambling about nothing. (Yikes, sorry if this email ends up being super long and unorganized, thats not normal of my emails) Just imagine this is like a tired Elder Johnson slouched on the couch rambling about his week as he slowly fades into sleep. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm It rained really hard yesterday. It started dumping right as we were getting ready to leave the house. I take that back, it started HAILING right before we left. No idea how that works when its hot outside. But when the hailing stopped we headed into the dumping rain and thunder and walked 2 miles up a dirt path that was now a dirt river. Turns out waterproof shoes don´t really work when you´re standing in water. It kinda reminded me of swimming enough to make me want to yet not really enough like swimming to satisfy my ...