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Showing posts from March, 2023

Maggots vs Elders (Book of Mormon Style)

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  An account of the wars and contentions among the Elders and Maggots of land of the house of Trébol And it came to pass in the commencement of the twenty and second day of the reign of the Elders in the house of Tr ébol, I did arise at the sound of our alarm, even 6:20AM to go and workout, when to my terror I did behold that which did cause my soul to grieve exceedingly. For behold, in our kitchen, upon our floor, in a dark puddle of grossness whose filthiness was far beyond any filth I had hitherto seen in all of my days, a great and terrible army of Maggots was gathered together against us. For unbeknownst to us, some previous Elders had left a bag of rotting somethings that dripped into this puddle of filth, that did allow a place for this army to gather against us. And not only in this puddle had they gathered, but in the nighttime they had spread, even to the greater part of all the land of our house, even to the kitchen, and to the laundry room, and to the living room, and even

♫Hold to the Rod♫ Or you´ll fall out of the bus and get run over

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WAZZAP GUYS THANKS FOR READING Im gunna be honest I have 0 time right now so imma just write all I can and send it when it's time to go  ♫Hold to the Rod♫ Or you´ll fall out of the bus and get run over This title is because one day we got on a bus that was so full that after walking up two steps of the entrance to the bus, I was now squished against the people in front of me. Then the bus door closed behind me, cutting off a dude that wanted to get on, and almost shutting on my backpack. Then we started driving down the highway. I wasn't sure how sturdy those doors were behind me so I just held tight to the iron bars next to me in the bus. Then I started laughing and poked my companion and sang the line from a hymn "hold to the roooood the iron roddd" I am very grateful for my years of training in holding on for dear life on tubes at the lake. Angelic Motorcycle Dude One morning as we were walking down the street a church member zoomed by us on his motorcycle singing

Elder Johnson and Elder Hales in Trébol (heheh cuz trebol sounds like you´re saying trouble)

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  HOLA! Rapidito Update (ha, I’m reading this now and it’s not rapidito) The mission is going pretty dang good. It feels like Missouri summer humid warm here every day, which I actually like a lot after being in provo for a month. I love the sun and living trees.  The dogs all think we´re food so I whack them with the Book of Mormon when they try and eat me and my companion, and I now carry a rock in my backpack for them too. I don't have to throw it I just pretend I´m about to and it usually helps. Last night one tried to come into our house while I opened the door for the delivery dude, so I pulled out a garden hoe to keep him out, so he growled at me, peed on our door and left. I´ll give him points for creative revenge. We visited a member the other day and this guy lived out away from the city in the jungle, and he just has a bunch of fruit trees. He picked a tamarindo fruit and handed it to me and it was DELICIOUS. He also gave us some massive lemons and I made lemonade with i

Speak Your Language

  MTC is over and I am now in El Salvador. The last week of MTC was really good. We spoke only spanish Mon-Sat (the SYL Challenge) which was hard to do and easy to forget, but we all decided to keep going through it and now I'm very grateful for that because turns out all this stuff our teachers asked us to do was actually to prepare us for what we were going to be doing the field. Because I got here and turns out everybody speaks SPAYNEESH and thats all I get to do now.  Makes me think about how sometimes God does the same thing and asks you to do hard stuff because its actually about to prepare you for something coming in the future. And if thats true with spanish teachers, how much more true is that  when God´s the guy asking you to do hard stuff?? I promise that in the end you´ll always be grateful you did the hard stuff God asked you to do. I´ve already seen that to be true in my life, and HOW MUCH AWESOMER IS THAT GUNNA FEEL WHEN WE GET BACK TO OUR HEAVENLY FATHER  In the wis

Massive Tyrannosaurus Croissant

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 Hola Amigos!  Fair warning: this email is probably going to be massive. These four weeks have FLOWN by so I haven't written an email since I got to the Missionary Training Center (that's the actual meaning of MTC, but I liked the title of this email better) and I am now paying for it because I've come to realize there's just no way to write about everything that's happened while I've been here. But I'm gunna try to cover a lot of it anyways, so I'll just title some stuff and you can read what you want, or you can come back to the email throughout the week and finish it someday. Idunno man I just work here. BUT NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT MY FAILURE TO WRITE IN THE PAST YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT ELDER JOHNSON SO LETS DO THIS  DISTRICT: My district is awesome. We have 8 Elders and 8 Hermanas, all from totally different places in the world with totally different personalities and talents, but we all are here for the same purpose and that makes it easy to love ea